What is it about writing?
As I walk to the library each morning, I think about writing. These days, ever since I didn’t pass a job interview successfully, I have been stressing over finding a job. I am wondering if I’m completely wasting my time writing and wonder if I should spend time looking for a job instead (I am when I’m not at the library). Writing seems like such a waste of time. Writing seems like something people who have settled lives can do, not someone like me, who is obviously going through some major changes. I wonder if I’m being totally irresponsible by spending 4 weeks of my summer writing, thinking about writing, making writing videos and podcasts, and reading about writing. Maybe I’ve lost my sense of responsibility and reality. I think my family certainly thinks so, as do my friends in Chicago and, even down in Champaign.
In the book, Third Culture Kids: Growing Up Among Worlds, by Dave Pollack and Ruth Van Reken, the authors talk about “delayed adolescence” (which Sushma mentioned in her blog about her mom). To me, I don’t think I’m necessarily rebelling against anyone, but I’m definitely delayed in terms of finding my place in this world – job-wise and location-wise. I find myself continually apologizing to people when they ask me about my future plans. The big questions I’m wrestling with are: should I stay in Champaign or move to Chicago?
Going through the UIWP, and especially preparing for my demo, I began getting sucked into my topic about storytelling. I feel almost mentally “hungry”. I want to read and think about this whole avenue of telling life stories, especially for people who have lived transitional lives. I have read quite a bit about third culture kids and realize I might have developed some theories about them, which, now that I reflect on them, might not be entirely accurate. For example, preparing for my demo, I realized that my contentions applied to everyone, whether they moved around a lot or stayed in one place most of their lives. That is, no matter where we’ve lived, we all have “places” that resonate with us and stories that lie deep within us that we’ve never really articulated.